The Secret, in her diary... (Last part)

Contd from part1, part2

(Sam read the lines again and again. He tried to recall the times they spent together... From what was written in her diary he started realizing that it was him, with whom Riya was in love with. It was about him she had written in her diary. He was numb & left heartbroken.)

Oh dear god! I can’t believe this… I am really sorry Riya. I could never read your feelings. Now that I know, I will never be able to see you again! I shouldn’t have read the whole thing in the first place….

(He then leaned down, resting his head on the table… He felt as if the tears coming out straight from his heart, which refused to stop…)

 … ...

(After some time, Sam raised his head. The first thing he could see on his table was some kind of a reflection from the glass of a photo frame. He felt as if someone is starring at him from behind. It was very late, almost 2’o clock midnight. This made him a bit more conscious. He turned back at once only to find the curtains of the window. He wiped his tears, adjusted his throat after drinking some water. As he was about to close the diary, he saw the reflection once again… on the same frame… This time, to make sure it is not his illusion, he rubbed his eyes for a clear vision. What he saw earlier wasn't just an illusion. The reflection on the glass gave him goose bumps!  It was of Riya’s, as if she was standing behind him… )

"This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening"…. I repeated as I turned, unsure of what I saw in the glass… The fear shut my eyes which refused to open. After gaining some courage, I did open my eyes slowly. And there, she was standing with her ever charming smile! "W..T..F.. I must be dreaming" I mumbled. I rubbed my eyes again, pinched my hand… "Oouch..." it did hurt! She was still standing there!!

“Don’t be afraid Sam” the voice came. Oh dear lord, I was not able to digest what was happening around me… My mouth dried down and my heart beat shoot up… Riya was standing right in-front of me! I was totally dumb-stuck… It could have easily made me faint, when the voice came from her mouth yet again…

“Sam, please don’t be afraid… I will go if you want... I just wanted to meet you one last time…”

“Are you…. Is this really happening? I mean... is this really-really happening!” I was totally confused.

“Well, whatever happened to me was real… and what you are seeing right now, is also kinda real” she replied.

“You mean, you are a…”




“Ah, yes. You can say that I am a spirit…” she smiled... 

Still not convinced of all the strange things going around, I was hesitating even to have a conversation… 'I mean, Am I talking to a ghost or spirit or Am I talking to myself? Am I going mad, is this my hallucination!?' My mind uttered so many question at once as she continued…

“I know you have read my diary. Probably, I should have tried to tell you everything when I was alive. At-least I would have been happier that way rather than keeping it in my heart as a secret and not letting it go… which eventually ended in my grave.... I am not here to confess. You already know the truth. I know that it makes no sense now, and it will not matter in anyway. I just want to know, if..... if I had told you this when I was alive... what would have been your answer….”

I never expected that I will encounter such a situation in my life. I mean, yeah we never foresee things so they do happen unexpectedly... But something like this!!!? Few moments ago, I was feeling very bad that I could never find out Riya’s feelings… I never really gave it a thought what would have happened if I knew this earlier, when she was alive. And now, the same question is asked to me by the same girl... who is no more alive!!! What kind of a situation is this… Whatever I say now, it doesn’t matter much as I have already lost someone who loved me so much… And knowing the fact that I never even knew that she was in love with me... was hurting me a lot….

“I know Sam, I should have told you this earlier... I am sorry… But in anyway that wouldn't have changed my destiny. So, it was good that I kept it as a secret. Otherwise it might have hurt you even more.... I really loved you Sam. Loved you a lot... But now that I am gone, I don’t want you to live your life thinking about me or my feelings anymore. I know if I had not come, you would have lived your life with this truth of mine, buried in my diary, bothering you in every stage. May be that's why my soul is still here, to free you from all the confusions and to have this conversation. May be that's why my soul is still here, to find out what I always wanted to know when I was alive… Things that are undone… Words that were untold…”

Her words were now like puzzles… My mind had to process too much in the last couple of hours... 

“Sam, I want you to be truthful to me and yourself. Don’t say anything just to make me happy or thinking that I will not get peace…”

A long silence struck at this point… It was time for me to respond. And Riya, or shall I say her soul was there waiting for my response…
…. ….

And suddenly, she was gone… She was nowhere in the room… I checked the time and it was about 5’o clock in the morning. I wasn’t sure what just happened - the conversation with the so called soul of Riya - was for real or not…. May be I dozed off…. May be it was my hallucination… Or was it real? Is she still waiting for my answer!?

I looked back at my table. Riya’s diary was open, may be the wind had opened some pages… With a heavy heart, as I stretched my hands to close the book to keep it safe somewhere in my cupboard – the last sentence in that page took my attention. It read ‘what do you think my dear diary… he loves me?”  I had read the whole thing earlier, but now it made more sense... 

I closed the diary, took it in my hand and clutched it against my heart… Sun was about to greet the world as I stepped into the balcony attached to my room. I looked upon the sky. The cold breeze hitting my face, repelled my tears as if someone’s hand wiping them off…. 

“Riya, wherever you are… if you are listening to me, I want you to know this… I am not saying this for the sake of it or just to make your soul happy.... I should have known this earlier… But your diary made me realize.....
Yes, I loved you too… ”


...THE END… 


Comments

Saru Singhal said…
Sigh! I am short of words here. I could actually feel few lines from it like tears were coming straight from heart...

It is extremely painful losing someone and when you come to know someone's feelings after they are no more is a difficult thing to handle...

Beautifully woven story!!!
Sunil Padiyar said…
Thank you Saru-jee :)
ajay said…
Ohh well written!! Sweet, short and heart wrenching. Well done Sunil!!

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