Why am I not grateful to what I have?
Why am I not grateful to what I have? Hmmm... This isn't something new or isn't something that I’ve heard for the first time from my beloved. Life, which I always said is beautiful but depend on the way we look at it… But, do I really mean it or have I lived the way it is said?
- When my grades went down – I felt bad for not getting a chance to appear for the campus interview, instead of looking into what is going wrong or concentrating on correcting myself…
- When I did get chance to write one – I felt bad for not getting into the big ones, though I had not prepared enough or wasn’t worthy of…
- When I did get a good job – after some time, I felt I shouldn’t have changed my mind during seat selection of engineering, which resulted in, me changing the course which I had initially got. If I had not, I would have got something even better..
- When I did change my job – after some time, I felt it is not enough.
- When I was in bench doing nothing – I felt bored and feared for the future
- When I had work – I felt it was too much and disappointed with the way it was going.
Perhaps in most of the cases, this happens with people... Or am I the only exception? Why don’t we enjoy what we have and what god has given, instead of nagging or being disappointed in life - seeking what we don't have. Is it really easy to be like what they say – don’t think about what you don’t have, be thankful for what you really have and be happy for it. Over the time, I have told this statement to many… I have thought about it and even wanted to be the way it is said. Having a job, getting handful amount of salary, a house for shelter, nutritious food, being independent with loving wife and parents – isn’t enough? Am I asking too much?
I ask this question with the like minded (if any) Why can’t we be just happy? Why do we always think about future and be in pursuit of getting something which we don’t have? Why does our priorities keep changing and when we do get what we wanted, why does our mind starts pursuing something else or something more? When I watched the movie, pursuit of happyness - I never understood the meaning of the statement, when he says – "...happiness cannot be pursued." But later the same fellow realizes that "happiness is indeed something that people always are in the pursuit of..." I think , I can really say that now I’ve understood what he actually meant.
I don’t want to be this way. I want to be like those, who always or at-least are more positive and see the better side of things that happen to them. I am sure I cannot change myself overnight. Even though I have tried many times, I’ve come back to the same point over and over again. Maybe I haven’t tried enough! Or maybe it is the essence of life, which cannot be changed… It can only be tweaked to certain extent, to get harmony in what we do, what we have, what we want and get and last but not the least WHAT WE THINK….
I remembered the line of a Kannada song - ಇರುವುದೆಲ್ಲವ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇರದುದರೆಡೆಗೆ ತುಡಿವುದೇ ಜೀವನ (leaving everything we have... going towards what we don’t - is the irony of life…)