after yours, now it's my take on wedding... part 1
Prologue: My wife had this idea of writing about our wedding ceremony, the rituals etc. With due respect to her idea (you can find it here) I am writing - my perception on what all happened. (She asked me so many times to come up with this post, so here I go…) Those who have read her post first may find this one not so interesting or less humorous. The post is very long… as always ;) So, they are in parts..
courtesy - google images
When I was 13, attending a marriage function was the most boring things of all. Most of the wedding ceremonies of our relatives or family friends used to be in the halls situated in a walking distance from our school. So, I was expected to attend them that too wearing my school uniform during the lunch break. The problem is out of so many people who attend these functions, majority of them won’t be knowing who I am and may think that I have there for the sake of free food. I don’t blame them coz I will be in my school uniform and there used to be many kids in my school who were attending such functions uninvited. I don’t blame them too, coz they had their own personal problems. I remember once it even crossed limits – it was one of our far relatives’ wedding and I was having lunch. An elegant lady passed by greeting everyone who were having lunch. She spotted me sitting with my brother & cousin who were all in the same dress code. Thinking that we were there uninvited, she commented sarcastically in Kannada. I got furious and returned the favor by telling ‘maayi, ammi amchigelli. Ani amka wardike sangla monuchi ailili. Dekkanattile nayi’. (Aunty, we are also a konkani, and we are invited to this wedding and not here for free food.) May be it was rude on my part, but then it was needed.
It wasn’t just the attire, people just love to stare and pass comments. After all they have so much free time and what else they can do! If some say guys are programmed to stare at gals, then gals or to be specific, women are programmed to chatter. They can’t help it. (Now you know why our wedding ceremonies are one of the loudest places…;) ) Anyway, it doesn’t mean that guys or men are silent. Comparatively, yes we are. Those days, for me wedding ceremonies were like short movies with overcrowded audience. Majority of them were less bothered to know what was happening on stage. Instead they were worried about what happened in their neighbors house, who is wearing how much kilos of gold and what type of saree, who got job and who did not, who scored a distinction and who failed, match making, who won in Cricket match with in depth expert opinions, who can win the elections, so on and so forth. Every topic on this earth will be discussed with utmost interest.
As I grew up and had an option to attend/miss any such function, I chose the later part. May be that is why, 90% of my relatives know my Mom very well but not her son! When I was doing engineering, the topic of my marriage had come so many times, but was not taken seriously. I had decided to myself – no matter who says what, I will not get married till I am 28. I felt, I needed so much time to be ready for what it needs to take the responsibility and become a family man. (But my fate had something else in its mind…) Over the years, my perception has not changed much on wedding ceremony, but yeah it is a lot different when it comes to the wedding of your closed ones. And when it comes to your own, it just doesn’t matter what the audience are up to or what topic they are discussing. They say, it is one of the most important phases of one’s life. Thankfully, I discovered why was it so!
As I said, for the most part of my life I was thinking my marriage will be an arranged one and not before 28. But then, Preethika came to my life. It wasn’t love at first sight not even second or third! It took a lot more than that. It doesn't mean that she isn't pretty ;) I have to watch every word of mine, coz I know she will be the first one to read this.. :P Jokes apart... May be you can read my detailed post on this topic – so how did it happen? for complete story. My initial plans of getting married at 28 were revisited because of so many circumstances and I got married at 25. According to my mom, this is the right age. In fact she had started insisting when I was 24!
It all started on a Friday night, when I took three weeks long vacation from my office and headed back towards my home town - all set for the transformation. The engagement took place few months before and we had time to discuss and execute what needed on top of our priority list. I don’t deny that I was excited about this change. I was also excited about the people who were coming in, whom I had not seen for a long time – my closest cousins. When there is such a function, the house will be filled with relatives and the environment will be pleasant in a way. It will be energetic, eventful, joyful and colorful... Just like how my wife had stated, in our community the wedding ceremony has lots and lots of rituals. You will know it only when you are a part of it....
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